The Heart of a Warrior Mom

The heart of a warrior mom can sometimes break into a million pieces like shards of glass that pierce through the skin and leave behind a dull aching pain. Parenting is hard work, and going to battle on behalf of our children is some of the hardest work we will ever do. No one wants to go into the trenches of conflict, but sometimes we are left with no other choice. And if our child and other children benefit from our momentary discomfort, then we have done our job well. As Miguel Ruiz says in the Four Agreements, how others feel or react, is never about us. It is about them.

Have you ever had to step into a messy pile of gossip, backbiting, Facebook, and Twitter madness, to protect your child?

That was my life last month, and whether I like it or not, it continues into the New Year. 2012. My year. The year I will hit the half-century mark. I did not want to take last years garbage with me. I wanted all 365 days to be extraordinary; without drama.

But alas, the trash collector passed my house, and I still sit in a pile, and most of its aftermath. What is a warrior mom to do?
My youngest daughter was bullied and harassed at school, to the point where a once enthusiastic high school freshman, no longer wanted to attend.

This was not your popular 21st-century type of bullying. She is neither fat, nor gay, nor awkward. Nope, she does not fall into those standard categories, which have schools watching with eagle eyes ready to pounce any kid who is picking on others. And really… I say bravo! It is about time the schools are watching and hopefully taking swift action.

My daughter falls into a category that is under the radar. It is stealth, quiet, slow growing, but oh so toxic. I call it academic bullying. Kids that are neither popular, nor standouts, but very smart, and academic achievers, that come after someone younger and not quite yet as savvy. Bit by bit they try to crush your spirit. In the case of my daughter… They were very successful.

So, what did the warrior mom do, once she was aware of the impropriety? I reported it. Crossed my T’s, and dotted my I’s. An investigation ensued, and the Assistant Principal in a mocking tone advised me, that it was all pretty minor as these things go.

I would not be privy to punishments (if any) of the students involved, and in fact, he considered this a closed case.

DISMISSED. Just like that.

A meeting with the Principal ensued, and she let us know that she felt the office handled things very well by what their current standard procedure was.  We felt pretty good upon leaving the office.

EXCEPT…

As with most meetings, you go home and debrief, and try to gather your wits about you, and then sit down to do some research. And just like that, the warrior mom in me comes out and calls FOUL!

What is a warrior mom to do? Research. Investigate. Find some answers. And answers I did find.

In all fairness to the school, we were preparing to go on holiday hiatus, and I hope we can come to a resolve, or at least set a tone for future conflicts of this nature.

After consulting with experts on the state and national level, it turns out that this case was not minor, and should not have been dismissed as such. The school was ill equipped with possible antiquated information.